My career before I became a transformation coach was a Senior IT Consultant. I landed some excellent high paying jobs that were fulfilling and rewarding.
I had an interview for an insurance company. At the interview they sounded amazing. When I asked them how important team is to them, they said the team was like their family. I was blown away.
I accepted the job.
However, when I started, I immediately regretted it. The team lead was weak and wasn’t a good leader. Meaning that I had to work 12 hours a day. It was full of people that didn’t know what they were doing hence the inefficiencies with the project.
The deadlines were hard meaning that if we missed them it would cost the company $5m. Obviously, I was stressed out. And it didn’t help that a life-long mental health issue of anxiety was causing me problems as well.
One day I came in and nobody was there. When the project manager came in, she took me to a room. She told me that she fired everyone and that I was the only one left. I was in shock.
I had to do the work of an entire team. I was so stressed out. Then, probably expectedly, I had a nervous breakdown. I went to see a psychiatrist and he said that I had to go on Valium. I said this is a joke, and I tossed the script in the bin, and vowed to find some alternative to healing.
Over time I healed the nervous breakdown. By that time, I had moved from Sydney to Canberra, Australia. I moved into a new role, but my underlying anxiety was still there.
I searched for anything to fix the anxiety that wasn’t drugs. By chance, I was speaking to a friend who said his friend did Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). I went to see her and was blown away by what NLP could do.
I looked up her coach. We met for a session. In 5 mins the anxiety was gone. I don’t suffer from anxiety anymore.
You see, the anxiety was coming from a fear. It was a fear of failure that I got when I was really little. When my coach collapsed the anchor (collapsed the link between the emotion and the trigger), the anxiety ceased to exist.
Where do we get limiting beliefs?
The majority of limiting beliefs come from the imprint period in our lives between the ages of 3-11. During this period, the brain is like a sponge and any impression gets imprinted in the brain.
However, the belief is from the child’s point of view and you wouldn’t come up with the same conclusion if you were seeing it from an adult’s perspective.
For instance, I thought that my parents didn’t love me from a very young age. I thought that something was wrong with me and that I was a bad person. I wasn’t good enough or I was unlovable.
As an adult, it’s easy to see that they couldn’t spend time with me because they had to spend time in the business to earn money to look after us.
But the child doesn’t come to the same conclusions.
Once the belief is formed it gets reinforced over the years and stays with you for life.
Until you’re 40 and you don’t understand why you get anxious every single time someone doesn’t call you back after you text them because someone said they didn’t want to be friends with you when you were 7 years old.
How to identify limiting beliefs
Most of your memories are filled with limiting beliefs and limiting emotions. For instance, if you had a major temper tantrum when you were little, quiet possibly you have anger issues.
I know I did. There was a day when I was little. I got the shits for some reason and was angry for the entire day. I bottled this anger and then as an adult I would have explosive outbursts when I didn’t get my way.
You can identify the limiting beliefs from your negative emotions. Feelings like guilt, shame, anger, fear, anxiety all come from negative limiting beliefs and negative limiting emotions that formed when you were little.
You can hear them when you speak. If your sentence starts with any of these, then it is a limiting belief.
- I can’t
- I won’t
- I don’t
- I always
- I never
- I must/mustn’t
- I should/shouldn’t
If you have the above, then it a limiting belief that you need to address.
How to Resolve Limiting Beliefs and Emotions
The best way for resolving a limiting belief or emotion is to do something that can collapse the limiting belief. You could do NLP or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) also called tapping. Both are very effective at removing limiting beliefs.
In NLP you change your personal history by going back through your timeline to the event that caused the limiting belief and changing it. It gives an immediate shift in the belief and emotion.
You can also do a thing called collapse anchors were the link between the emotion and the trigger is broken which has immediate relief for the client.
If you don’t have access to an NLP or EFT practitioner here’s what you can do:
Create a new super-highway.
A super-highway is formed in the brain between two neurons. When a thought takes place, it creates a pathway between two neurons. If you have the same thought over and over again it creates a super-highway between the neurons.
When your limiting belief was formed when you were little, it created this super-highway.
To create a new super-highway, identify what the belief is that you have. You could find it by journaling. If it is a negative emotion, identify the belief that triggers the emotion. Write it in your journal.
Then, you need to write a counter belief. This becomes your affirmation.
What you then need to do is repeat this affirmation over and over again to create a new super-highway. Write it in your journal. Say it out loud. When you have a negative thought or feel a negative emotion say the affirmation.
This creates the new super-highway and the less you give energy to the old belief the old super-highway will lose strength.
And this will help you to overcome your limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs were formed in the formative years between the ages of 3-11. They stay with you for life until you can resolve them and one way to do this is to create a new super-highway by repeating an affirmation.
If you want to experience NLP to help with your limiting belief, I have a free 1:1 session for you to experience it first-hand. To book, click here
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